Calcutta is Now 'Kolkata'

Calcutta is dead. For Good. Kolkata is born! LONG LIVE KOLKATA!

On Saturday, December the 23rd, circa 2000, the Center approved the West Bengal government's request to rename Calcutta as 'Kolkata'. 

"Hear ye! Hear ye!", announced the royal messenger reading the royal scroll, "The Government of India hath, after careful consideration, accepteth the proposal of the sovereign state of West Bengal to change the name of the city of 'Calcutta' to 'Kolkata'." 

The whole village listened in most awe! You could almost hear a pin drop, except nobody dropped a pin!

We might as well be living in the mediaeval age. 

Recent trends have spurred name changes of big and small cities alike. However, it does not reflect any other noticeable change in the life or economy of the city. After wasting thousands and thousands of taxpayers' rupees, the result is a change in the name as if this will result in a drastic change in the life of the average Joes, (or should we say Average Ashoks?) of those cities.

While the whole country, minus the politicians, stars, and a few businessmen, suffers from a lack of basic amenities like food, water, electricity, better road conditions; and while inner cities harbor criminals and criminal activities, the state and central government is busy changing the names of the cities. Not that we have a problem with the name change, it's the order of priorities by these governments that makes you laugh, or even cry, depending on your preferences.

Bombay, Madras, and now Calcutta. Here are some more names with a lot of potential to suck in a few more tax rupees: Patna becomes Putna, or better yet, Pataliputra; Delhi becomes Dilli; Allahabad becomes Ilahabad, Lucknow becomes Nuckhlau... the list is endless. Never mind the power failure or the rising crime situation or the strike by the university teachers or the postal strike or the strike by the pharmaceutical dealers; let's make a list of all the names that can be changed in India and suggest to the central government for an immediate change in them. After all, if by just changing the clothes you can start singing "Sala main to saab ban gaya...," why not change the name of the cities and pretend like all the problems have vanished overnight?

Lest you want to be thrown in front of a fire-breathing dragon!

(Published on Jan. 3, 2001)