A distinction should be made between crime and harassment. The author has described harassment in his original article. Staring is bad manners. Making rude or dirty comments with implicit or explicit sexual connotation is termed as harassment.

When I was going to college (a long time ago) a classmate of mine, who we called 'Batuk bhai' had a peculiar habit. Hailing from Samastipur area, Batuk bhai was a Jha ji. He was a good student, very honest and helpful, but he liked staring at women. On the weekends he used to go to Firayalal's (Ranchi residents can understand what I am talking about). Firayalal's faces the Albert Ekka chowk. Batuk bhai stood for hours on the platform in front of Firayalal's staring at women coming and going through the chowk. Like a tracking radar his gaze would lock on to a woman riding in a rickshaw and his head would turn tracking the rickshaw till it disappeared around the corner. Then he would pick another target and repeat this 'tracking' for hours. It was so embarrassing (and silly), that everyone left him there to do his tracking and went off to buy the stuff they needed. Batuk Bhai never made a crude or crass remark. He was no criminal. But Batuk Bhai hadn't been told not to stare at people when he was growing up.

Harassment is a totally different thing. It is a misdemeanor crime. It is the little cousin of rape. Of course, for the vicitm on which it is perpetrated, usually by a gang of 'street majnoos', it can be very disturbing. If you have seen "Shool", (and every true Bihari should have seen it), we see a classic example of the 'eve teasing' or harassment that the author has talked about. It is nothing to be shrugged at or dismissed as anything but a criminal act - more in category of sexual assault (which also includes rape). - Aarcee - Jan. 18, 2006

Som ji , you have touched a very interesting point. Your observations are very logical but according to me your conclusions are equally illogical and absurd. I am using
such hard language because it seems you are comparing whole of India with some lawless corner of Jehanabad or Begusarai.

The eve-teasing and staring in India and especially in Bihar, UP and MP is result of lack of exposure between boys and girls and lack of co-ed. I really don't know what is current situation.

I still very well remember that when I studied in Bihar in high school in mid 80's only time and way we could see a girl or female is either through the broken wall of girl high school in morning or evening or when some female teacher use to come for teacher's training. Students use to get excited by just looking at these trainee teacher most of whom will be at least 10 years older than oldest student in class.
When I reached from there to Delhi I had hard time coping with sharing bench with girl in college.

In USA on the other hand in middle school only parents themselves arrange dates for their son and daughter.

So comparing USA against Bihar is just comparing apple with rose.

In America everyone is suffering from privacy disease. They will politely say "Hello " and "appreciated" millions time. Does that really mean anything is anybody's guess.
In Bihar When I give our fellow poor villagers 20 or 40 Rs most of the time they will not even say a word but their look and feeling tells what million time "Thank you " and "appreciated" cannot tell. I just think it is just very different culture. Comparison is just not possible.

Millions of people including foreigners visit Taj Mahal every year. I don't know why your friend had such horrible experience. I hope his daughter was not pretending to be Brittany Spear or Demi Moore. - Manoj Gupta - Jan. 19, 2006

Here is another horror story. A guy in my college (who was otherwise a good student) used to stare at women even while driving his bike! A few times he almost got into accident since while driving he was focusing on the women rather than the road. His silly habit was a danger to himself as well as to the other people on the road.
But this is no joke, people might be doing it because nobody taught them manners but the women who are at the receiving end have to live in fear and constant harassment. This might lead to the development of an insecurity complex and loosing of women’s self-confidence in front of strangers. Sexual predators who have criminal mindset tend to take advantage of this national habit and try to do more harm to the innocent women. This also does not convey a good image of India abroad since in western societies staring is considered very rude. - Rajesh Sahu, Manchester, UK - Jan. 19, 2006

Well said!. We in India criticize western culture, but west respects women more than we Indians do. Not many people will disagree that they would feel very unsafe if their female family members went out alone in Bihar/UP/Delhi + many other states.

I have seen many such scenes in while in Patna men in group grabbing/ squeezing/harassing women [not uncommon to rest of India too] .In fact, a guy was shot in broad daylight [while I was in Science College] when he tried to stop some goons from teasing a girl.

Our policemen instead like to arrest innocent couples holding hand in public but why blame them when top cops pinch bottoms of their colleague IAS officers.

We have to change our attitude towards women and perhaps learn a few things from Maharashtra and Gujarat where women are much safer. Till then we Indians should not claim that we respect women.- Shashank Prasad - Jan. 19, 2006

Shashankji do not be so euphoric. Please visit the link I sent in my earlier comment. Women are pretty unsafe in the west too. That proves that staring / harassment / crime against women have little to do with education and wealth of a society.

Perhaps it has something to do with the dos and donts kids grow up with in a particular society. That perhaps sets the proportion between staring / harassment / crime. It so happens that in India the don'ts do not emphatically list staring just like so many desirable don'ts are absent in the western culture. So we have Batuk Bhais who indulge in it for sheer curiosity. They do no serious harm. In the west, where the emphasis on not staring is more, curiosity kills the cat (Batuk Bhais). So in the west women can wear clothes that expose more than they cover and still sue a person who stares. In countries like India, women cover themselves up but still get stared at.

So it is like saying "We do not have staring we simply bash, rape and kill our women" or something like "We stare at them too". The last word is a criminal is a criminal, whether in US or Timbuktu, and till we have criminals in our society women will suffer along with others. - Rajesh Chaubey - Jan. 19, 2006

Dear Vishwakarmaji,

Your observation was shocking and very true. We forget to realize that our culture has some limitations and still we need to learn things if they are better to be a good human being. The similar story is that when I had been to Hyderabad (supposedly advanced city) along with my classmate about 4-5 years back, people stare at some special part of woman anatomy (I need not be so precise). I didn't notice that but my friend stated very embarrassingly. I have noticed that Mumbai is safest for women and Gujarat is also not bad.

Our culture boast mainly because we want to oppress women as much as we can. Because this is what development brings that they give women more independence. When I was in USA for the first time and my colleagues asked me "so, how is US?" My answer was that "Good for woman" because you can freely walk at any time in the night alone being scared which is not possible in India in biggest of cities, forget Bihar.

As far as reports of violence in US is concerned, people really report it rather than considering it as "home's internal affair" and trying to suppress it. Because if marriage doesn't work, where would woman go? Girl parent's will not accept her as she is married and husband's house is her house.

There has never been issue with guy's dress, less or more because after all it is a man's world and he decides the fate of society.

I don't know if I wrote more because there is moral police watching every word against our own culture and refuge to accept any shortcoming.

Nothing is going to change. Few will write, few will read, few will agree, few will disagree and the show must go on. - Sanjeev Kumar - Jan. 19, 2006

There is nothing Bihari or UP about this tendency of staring! Even in the states like Kerala, where women by tradition dress differently than the rest of India, people who visit Kerala /Gujarat do stare at the women and the result they have started dressing like women in rest of the country( good in a way) but highly inconvenient for working or doing household chores in that weather.

Staring is less harmful than chasing and killing women (a pastime practiced in Chennai). Basically, one should remember that women are not brinjal bajjis or onion pakoras that one just picks up on the way...they are respectable human beings.. without them (think of the mother) no one comes into and exist in the world.... Women do have feelings, much more sensitive than men but can suppress their emotions most of the times and for men to take this strength of women for granted is a big tragedy.. and that mindset should go out by training in school/college/parents and the society...if women join and start their uprising.. God save us all!!!!

Oh!, my dear brothers of this world unite for a cultured and decent behaviour towards women to whom we should have more a sense of gratitude for what ever the kind affectionate and caring attitude they can show us if only we are concerned and affectionate and respectful to them - S Bhargavan - Jan. 19, 2006

Interesting topic! Some good stares er.., observations too. Oh, come on, accept it! Who does not like staring and being stared at? It depends on the 'type' of stare, the person staring and the situation. You don't agree? Watch a Hindi movie. Heroine is going to classroom with her friends, our hero stares at her, packets of love bytes are exchanged through eyes, her friends laugh like goats, and she is blushed. Heroine is walking alone, the villain and his friends stare at her, the lecherous virus attacks at multiple IP addresses, still unable to cross the firewall, his friends laugh like donkeys, and he is left exasperated.

So, it's the stare with lust that we are talking about, right? And Indians, particularly in UP and Bihar, are more lustful than others, are they? Well, in US, people don't stare at women, because they don't need to. Who will stare a necklace in a glass showroom, where gold is found 'open' on roads? And don't they know who is watching them on CC cameras if they try to go near it? Rajesh ji has given some good points here about US.

Please, this is not to justify eve-teasing in India. But, to call it Indian pastime while giving an example of US will only dilute the problem. Did you say metros are safer? Even with the strength of police force Delhi and Mumbai have, we know how safe they are.

Now, let us try to find the cause of this problem. A couple of them that come to my mind are poor law and order, and the division in society. Law and order can reduce such incidents to some extent, but as long as we are divided, such social diseases cannot be eradicated. This will probably explain why such incidents are more common in Bihar and UP.

Think of a girl being teased on road. What if she decides to complain to police? What if a brave guy stands up to protest, despite the fact that she is not related to her? Think of the consequences in detail, for the boy, his family, the girl and her family. How much support will they get from the society? I won't be surprised if that incident soon starts a fight between two colonies/castes/religions over that incident. People and press will only be interested in the 'story' aspect. This is why often such incidents happen without any protest and the criminals get encouraged.

I know many will not agree completely, but this is how I analyse it. - Kumod Jha - Jan. 19, 2006

Please interpret the American web site links in a fair manner. In US the laws against harassment to women are extremely strict (and are implemented at the ground level). The statistics regarding harassment of women are compiled and published to help in delivering justice. In India, millions of women are beaten everyday by their husbands and in-laws but people don't even consider this as a crime. Strangers harass millions of women some as young as school girls but nothing happens. Can someone please publish the Indian statistics just like the US statistics? I suspect most law enforcements in India do not even maintain and manage these statistics. Please don't treat women as a commodity whom you can exploit simply because it gives you pleasure. Looking at some of the responses I think we still have a long way to go in terms of changing people's mindset. But this article has at least ignited this debate. - Ramsharan, Orlando, Florida, USA - Jan. 19, 2006

It is the combination of the eyes and the law. People choose to respect and close their eyes, or stare like they are seeing something for the first time. I work in the USA and I have seen girls/women wearing very revealing clothes but nobody cares. I have seen women walking in bras and undies, but still nobody thinks she is bad. It is so common, it is meaningless here. The society has accepted these kinds of things and in some ways, laws are very strict --- if you choose to act on any thought that may come into your mind, you will soon receive free government-sponsored housing, called Jail. - S. M. Khurshid Anwar, New York, USA - Jan. 19, 2006

Criminals are present in all societies and so is crime. No point giving explanations and clarifications as it is not your fault. In every civilized society the fight to end crime is going on. However, whatever the degree of policing and whatever the punishment, crime persists. There are countries which have death penalties, amputation, public flogging and similar harsh punishments but still they are not crime free. Quoting examples from here and there is futile. There are always people pushing their luck in all societies. When the society generates criminals, crime against women too can be expected. It has to fought with all strategy and force.

As regards staring, which the original article was about, it has already been explained that it is more accepted socially in India than in other societies. Again no one need give explanations and clarifications as it is not their fault. That is the way that society has developed. If you plan to go to India accept the fact that you will be stared at. No amount of lamenting, advising or wishful thinking can change anything. - Rajesh Chaubey - Jan. 20, 2006

Discussion on this topic is now closed.